痛恨自己

如果当初从营里出来后，

就积极去找工作，

或许现在，

我不用酱伤心，

爸爸不用酱操劳，

妈妈不用酱寂寞，

弟弟也不会酱依赖我们。

就是因为自己的懒散，

所有事情都被拖慢了下来，

今天的伤心，

不开心，

绝望，

全是自己造成的。

我不能怪谁，

只能怪自己，

我痛恨自己，

现在什么也做不到，

只能够祈祷

和努力工作。

但愿爸爸能好好休息，

妈妈能早日康复，

弟弟能生性，

而我也能尽快去争取回我失去的东西，

我会努力的。

请你们等我。

诚永远爱你，们。

-完-

Dee Guu.. sad

懂事以来，

第一次在爸妈面前哭了起来.

第一次感到这么的无助，

多么的伤心，

他们说不开心就回家吧

我心里只想说，

就算回家，

结果还是会一样的...

我真的很久没开心过了...

=(

莫名其妙 =_=

She is very weird

full of curiosity and asked for my updates

i told her everything included my thoughts

she seems disagreed

and i FEEL that she thought like this

"WATEVER la..its your career..your decision"

and later on she got pissed off

when i took her job as an example

and she told me seriously

"Don't take my previous job as an example."

then she offline and ciao angrily

in fact she really had a bad mentor in her previous employment

sien diao

she always care about me

and will ask about my progress here whenever she saw me online

but seriously

i feel that she doesn't really care about me la..

i mean..not from her True Heart

I am too Sensitive i guess??

this is just what i think

If you just wanna find someone to chat with u

just fill up your free time when u are boring

chat for something else

If you wanna care about the person

please at least show your sincerity

u might have shown it

but be frankly i did not feel it =.=

don't be so fake please.

FAK YIU~

All the above is just my feeling and thoughts.

Don't take it seriously ya~ =)

抉择

Decision is very hard when you think about Money in your career.

Especially when you need it for living.

Anyway, I have decided what to choose now...at this moment lol

hopefully i won't change my mind by Monday.

Cause it'd been bothering me for the whole night.

I am just 23 this year (but turning 24 very soon =.=)

Yup, I am young enough to pursuit my dream.

And what I really need to make up my mind is

The Reasons that I really wanna get a job here

1. Learning / Experince

2. Money

3. English

4. Dream -- haha =P

Experience/Learning comes first.

It does not mean that I cannot learn in Msia

But I have this kind of thought that I can learn faster in SG.

(Prove me if I were wrong)

The amount of money that I am going to give up is really alot.

But like what Hippo told me

look at the Bright side

the things you are going to explore

will be more valuable than the amount of money

you earn in the other company

Seriously

Experiences Are Priceless

I am still young and I still can earn alot of money

when I have a stronger "Weapon" with me

And I think at the moment

I am pursuing the excellence of work and getting recognition

which this really makes me feel excited

instead of getting more money income

-Never Have Regrets-

Hope that this is my first decision and Last =)

Good night Balls.

Happy Father's Day

"Greeting to the tough one in my family =)" - small Gan

"家里的超人" -wq

These 2 sentences make me have a stronger feeling of missing him more.

Tonight, i would supposingly be having a dinner with my family...

I was all the way from KL to Sg on last Tuesday,

it is my 6th day away from home today.

I was staying at home the whole day,

looking at the laptop,

surfing the net, looking for job, sending mails, gaming, etc..

only got to move my ass out from this small cell during lunch and dinner time.

I saw plenty of families came out for dinner tonight.

Everyone is celebrating the Day.

This day has been keep running around my mind for a few weeks.

Last week,

I told myself,

"I must get this job home next week and give it to my greatest warrior as a gift!!"

i believe it will be a priceless but happiest gift ever =)

Somehow,

i was still here in Sg this week,

or maybe next week,

or maybe next next week...

I'd failed the only chance that gave to me...

He is a very successful businessman,

even though he is not as rich as Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates or Uncle Lim,

but he raises a family with 3 other people to a healthy and happy and problem-free family.

Our family came from a poor kampung,

His dad never left him a coin

and he started working at age when we were addicting to video/computer games,

From RM0 to RM1,

from feet to car,

from stall to shop

from flat to terrace house,

from single to family,

from nothing to something,

he earns all of it with his bare hands.

He gave birth to me and my brother,

he gives us food, cars, money, education, bed, everything,

he never whines, never complains,

and never stop giving,

all he hopes, is letting us to have a comfortable life,

and be successful man in the future.

He never asks anything from us.

He never takes too.

He knows how to treat people,

even though he never attends courses like PR or psycho,

but he can read your mind well and treat you by following what you preferred.

He is full of white hair now,

hair is falling too.

His hand is pain and it needs long time to cure,

but he is still smiling.

He is still hoping us to have a great life

and he is still giving.

Please forgive me for not coming Home today,

I hope I can go home without disappointing you,

I wanna give you and her an easier life,

I want you worry no more,

at the moment,

I just hope that you are healthy, happy, and safe all the time.

I love you mum and dad.

To the Greatest Warrior,

My Hero, My Idol,

Daddy, Happy Father's Day. =)

Dee Guu...Jobless

最近一直有这个想法

如果找到工作后

有一段能够维持两年的感情

我就要娶她!!

当务之急还是找份工作先...

唉。。。。 =(

梁心頤 Lara - 我不再怕

她的歌总让我很舒服

觉得她的声音很有感染力

很清晰

很好听

凉凉的晚上

一个人驾着车

在下着雨的高速公路上

忽然听到电台播着这首歌曲

感觉很舒服

但心情也有点忧伤

或许是最近有太多不开心的事情发生了吧

希望所有事情都会好转起来 =)

“鞋字半邊難，難完之后就会系佳，做人一定要信。” - 任达华《岁月神偷》

做人最紧要自强不息，先至可以梦想成真。 (任达华, 29th 香港电影金像奖最佳男主角)

加油啦，大家。